Dick Bass was the son of a Texas oil baron, and he was known for taking mountain-climbing expeditions and talking about them… a lot. He was seated next to a man on a plane, and he spent the entire flight talking exhaustively about his adventures on Mount Everest and Mount McKinley.
As they were landing, Bass realized he hadn’t introduced himself. He turned to the man next to him and formally introduced himself. The man shook his hand and said, “I’m Neil Armstrong. Nice to meet you.”
Mic drop.
In her book, You’re Not Listening, author Kate Murphy notes that people tend to regret not listening, and they regret what they said more than what they didn’t.
“Listening is not just something you should do when someone else is talking; it’s also what you should do while you are talking.”
Murphy uses the analogy that talking with someone is like playing catch. If someone throws a ball at you, not listening is the equivalent of having your arms pinned to your side and looking behind you. The ball inevitably sails past you. You aren’t having a conversation; words and information are flying by you.
We can invent amazing writing, editing, and digital tools, but if we don’t learn to actively listen, we won’t know what to communicate or how.
I’m taking small steps to improve my listening environment. While in meetings, I minimize chats, put my phone away, etc. In personal conversations, I put my phone away. I take the distractions out of the picture.
“The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.” – Henry David Thoreau
Are you envious or Jealous?
Are you envious or jealous?
Full disclosure: I’ve been using the word jealous when I should have been saying envious.
Envy is wanting what someone else has (e.g., their car, their job, financial status, lifestyle, etc.), while jealousy is the fear of losing something or someone you have to a rival (like a partner's affection).
Typically, envy is a two-person dynamic (you and the other person), focusing on longing for their possession. However, jealousy is a three-person situation involving you, a loved one, and a perceived threat.
Which is correct?
I’m jealous of her job.
I’m envious of her job.
The second sentence is correct. You are envious of what she has; it's between you and the other person.
A MUCH-NEEDED LAUGH!
INSPIRATION
On Dec. 3, 1926, a woman’s expensive car, suitcase, and fur coat were found abandoned near her home. But, there was no sign of the woman. Earlier in the month, the woman’s husband had asked her for a divorce; he was having an affair with his secretary and wanted to marry her.
Over the next 11 days, a huge search was underway for the missing woman. Headlines flooded papers in London as well as the United States. Where was this woman? Was it suicide? A kidnapping? Interestingly, Scotland Yard had learned that the woman’s husband would inherit a very large sum of money if his wife never returned.
Unbeknownst to the world, the woman had checked into the Harrogate Hotel in South Africa. She checked in using the name Theresa Neele — the name of the secretary her husband was having an affair with. When the authorities located her, the woman had no recollection of who she was or what she was doing there. Her husband, Archie, backed her story, sharing with newspapers that she hadn’t recognized him and didn’t know her identity.
The woman eventually regained her memory and divorced her husband. She went on to travel to the Middle East aboard the Orient Express. She met and married her second husband, an archaeologist named Sir Max Mallowan.
The mysterious, vanishing woman was none other than Agatha Christie. She went on to write 66 detective novels and 14 short story collections and is only outsold by the Bible and Shakespeare.
However, Agatha left one mystery unsolved. She never talked about this incident or gave any insight into it.
📘 📘 📘
Real life will always be more fascinating and surprising than fiction. Some of the greatest stories are being lived right now. Everyone has an amazing, interesting story to share.
May we lean into our listening skills and get to know one another’s stories. They are worth sharing. 💛
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